Welcome To North Sports!

North Sports is excited to welcome Mark and LaToya to the team! Mark is a proud country hick with the literary savvy of a true jaded urbanite. LaToya is a sharp witted Alberta gal with an insatiable love for her hometown Flames. As a Leaf fan, this makes me sick.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Twitter Hockey Fans: Your Trade “Sources” Also Live in Their Parents’ Basement

One of the main reasons I started using Twitter was to be in the loop for the most up-to-date hockey news. While it’s still good for that, it’s also good for a load of bullshit, now more than ever.

I didn’t realize that so many 400 pound hockey fans with cheetos-stained fingers had so many “inside sources” intricately involved in their respective favourite NHL teams.

“Well, according to Jarome Iginla’s wife’s sister’s cousin’s boyfriend’s best friend’s hairdresser’s tailor’s deceased grandmother’s uncle’s mistress’ illegitimate child, he is so going to Pittsburgh, and the Flames will be getting Malkin and 10 draft picks.”


The fact that people have discovered that trade rumours spread like wildfire on Twitter has been detrimental to our hockey world, and has also subsequently taken a substantial number of years off my life. You see, most people act like children, and the more attention that can be brought to them, the better.

We’re so willing to (rightly) write off Eklund with pretty much everything he says, but why not the joe-blow hockey blogger telling us that the Pens are seeking to move Crosby?

You see, we have to take a different approach to the hockey rumours we read on Twitter. Still not sure how? Lucky for all of you guys, I've made a chart:

Ultimately, I don’t give a shit that your hopes and dreams of playing in the NHL were shattered the moment you discovered you sucked at all positions. I do care, however, if you’re wasting my time by feeding me false information. I don’t want to fuel your hopes and dreams, I want to destroy them.

If you’re that bored, get a pet, or a blow-up doll. And stay in the basement.

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